Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
