Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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