she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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