This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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