Do you still have your period?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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