can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
