I just gift wrapped bread.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
