my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
