now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude. I can hear the air.
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