No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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