Small penises have feelings too.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
