I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
