if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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