Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
