this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
