My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
