i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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