i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
