it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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