just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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