the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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