chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you traded sex for a burrito?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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