Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
