I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
