She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
