Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
