Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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