I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize