She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize