U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
