I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
