Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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