WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
