my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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