Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
