no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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