i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize