Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
