dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
