she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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