that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
