There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
