so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
