her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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