Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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