I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
