hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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