Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I AM VODKA MAN
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
