nut hugger
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
