He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize