the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
