Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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