I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
