We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
