At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize