Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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