Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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