I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
