She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
