I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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