I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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