i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize