i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
as a side note pls kill me
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