Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
