i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so let's talk penis.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
