Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
